So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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