i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
