two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
