i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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