Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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