your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money canโt buy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
