found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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