Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
