I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
