would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
