3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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