Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
