just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We need to get me chipped asap
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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