BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
