I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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