problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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