i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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