If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
