she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize