If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize