Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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