Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
