dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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