U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
