i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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