Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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