trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
