I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
