Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
