Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize