What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
