I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
