he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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