i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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