I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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