im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
