I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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