She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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