I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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