I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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