Your tits are I can't wait for
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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