I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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