Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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