So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
