We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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