we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
