Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
