I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
