Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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