You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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