so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
