I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
