Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
