One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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