3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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