I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
